Welcome to - This column will hereafter be a permanent feature of this web site, although its content will change monthly. It is dedicated to all individuals (and their loved ones) who are now battling cancer, and to Survivors whose cancer is in remission. I’ll occasionally leave you with a joke. This will usually be related to cancer, or some other source of stress in our lives. If you’ve heard a joke along these lines that you love, and would like to see it made available to everyone in this column, please send it to me at HaHaRemedy@viconet.com. Humor Your Tumor June, 2000 Paul E. McGhee, PhD
Step 4 (Part 3): Creating Your Own Verbal Humor. Practice at Playing with Language
In the past two months, we've focused on how to get started building your skills at playing with language. In this month's and next month's articles, you'll have an opportunity to practice different ways of playing with language. Use your own creativity to find similar ways to practice on your own. Headlines On Monday evenings on The Tonight Show, Jay Leno shows actual headlines containing wordplay from newspapers around the country. Be on the lookout for plays on words in the headlines of your own newspaper. The context of the headline makes the primary meaning clear, so you'll often miss the second playful meaning unless you're actively looking for it. Try your hand at these:
Family Catches Fire Just in Time, Chief Says Man Ruled Ignorant Enough to Serve as Juror in Murder Trial The United Way is Sponsoring a Child Choking Training Program Searchers Find Big Ugly Child (The child was from Big Ugly, West Virginia.)
Misprints in Church Bulletins Watch for examples like these in your own church bulletin, as well as in other printed materials. It's up to you to figure out the unintended confusion here.
Mrs. Johnson will come up after the Children's Easter Program and lay an egg on the altar. Thursday, at 4 p.m., there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the Pastor in his study. Next Sunday, a special offering will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper. Bible Study will be held Thursday at 7 p.m. Coffee and donuts will be served after the b.s. For those of you who have children but don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. Reverend Timmons spoke briefly, much to the delight of the congregation. Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgical Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, "Put Me in My Little Bed," accompanied by the Pastor. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. At this evening's service, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. The eight graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. Mrs. Rachel Thomas and Mrs. Harvey Wilson, both members of our congregation, sang a duet at the annual Bible Institute, The Lord Knows Why. Don't let today's pace and stress kill you. Let the church help. On a church bulletin board during the minister's illness: "God is good. Pastor Hargreaves is better."
In the following church bulletin statements, I've eliminated the misprint or confusion and written each one correctly. Try to figure out the error that was made with the underlined word before you check the answer included below.
1) Ushers will seat latecomers. 2) The outreach committee has enlisted 25 members to make calls on people who are not affiliated with any church. 3) The Pastor would appreciate it if ladies in the congregation would lend him their electric griddles for the Pancake breakfast. 4) The annual Christmas Carol Concert will be held at the First Methodist Church this Saturday evening. 5) The pastor is on vacation. Messages can be given to the church secretary in his absence. 6) Remember in prayer all those who are sick in our church and community. 7) The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accompaniment. 8) Thursday night--potluck supper. Prayer and meditation to follow. 9) The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Charles Culbertson, the son of Rev. and Mrs. Culbertson. 10) The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind, and they can be seen in the church basement Friday.
Answers: 1) eat 2) afflicted 3) Girdles 4) hell 5) Massages 6) of 7) accomplishment 8) medication 9) sin 10) the clothing
Business Signs What kinds of businesses might put a sign like this in front of their building? (See below for answers.) 1) Get Lots for Little 2) Curl Up and Dye 3) A Flush is Better than a Full House 4) 25 Years at the Same Spot 5) Don't Stand Outside & Be Miserable. Come in & Get Fed Up!
Answers: 1) Real estate 2) Hair stylist 3) Plumber 4) Dry cleaner 5) Restaurant (Note: You may come up with other answers that work just as well as these.) The more often you seek out opportunities to play with language in these and other ways, the more rapidly you will learn to use your own spontaneous verbal humor to cope with the stress in your life. TOP
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