Welcome to - This column will hereafter be a permanent feature of this web site, although its content will change monthly. It is dedicated to all individuals (and their loved ones) who are now battling cancer, and to Survivors whose cancer is in remission. I’ll occasionally leave you with a joke. This will usually be related to cancer, or some other source of stress in our lives. If you’ve heard a joke along these lines that you love, and would like to see it made available to everyone in this column, please send it to me at HaHaRemedy@viconet.com. Humor Your Tumor July, 2000 Paul E. McGhee, PhD Step 4 (Part 4): Creating Your Own Verbal Humor. More Practice at Playing with Language An oxymoron brings together two contradictory or incompatible ideas. Classic examples are jumbo shrimp and --according to some--military intelligence. Fill in the blank below to create your own oxymorons. The key is looking for something that is totally incompatible with the word before/after the blank. In many cases, you will come up with an answer that is just as good as the one provided. Be sure to make the effort to come up with your own answer before checking the answers below (if you want to build up this aspect of your own humor skills). To make this more fun, ask a friend to come over to the computer and do it with you. 1. ______ tradition 19. ______ copy 2. ______ glass 20. ______ recording 3. ______ cease-fire 21. ______ subway 4. ______ lake 22. ______ lateral 5. ______ volunteer 23. ______ creamer 6. ______ secret 24. ______ cable 7. ______ alarm 25. ______ naturally 8. ______ missing 26. ______ BASIC 9. ______ grief 27. ______ exactly 10. ______ organization 28. ______ landfill 11. ______ together 29. ______ scream 12. ______ classic 30. ______ sorrow 13. ______ misunderstood 31. ______ force 14. ______ pleased 32. political ______ 15. ______ slacks 33. ______ maybe 16. ______ ugly 34. working ______ 17. ______ estimate 35. Microsoft ______ 18. ______ nude 36. ______ make-up
Oxymoron Answers: 1) new 2) plastic/wood 3) partial 4) dry 5) mandatory 6) open 7) silent 8) found 9) good 10) government 11) alone 12) new 13) clearly 14) terribly 15) tight 16) pretty 17) exact 18) partially 19) original 20) live 21) elevated 22) forward 23) nondairy 24) wireless 25) act 26) advanced 27) almost 28) sanitary 29) silent 30) sweet 31) peace 32) science 33) definite 34) vacation 35) works 36) natural More Newspaper Headlines After reading the headlines provided, try your hand at creating your own funny headlines by filling in the blank in the final items presented below. Marijuana Issue Sent to a Joint Committee Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim Miners Refuse to Work after Death Arson Suspect Held in Detroit Fire Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Hospital Sued by 8 Foot Doctors Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 1. Publicize Your Business Absolutely Free. Send ______ 2) Governor's Pen is Busy. What happens if you make a mistake in spacing here? 3) Kosovo Liberation Army Head Seeks ______ Its a part of your body. 4) Stolen Painting Found by ______ Many answers work here. Think of an object, not a person. 5) Red Tape Holds Up New ______ Again, many answers might work here. 6) Deaf Man Waives Court ______ Its a legal procedure. Remember, he's deaf. 7) Watch Thief Faces ______ in Prison 8) ______ Opposition to Funeral Plan Expected What's a slang word for a dead person? 9) ______ Tires Out These are tires you use for snow. 10) Man Struck by Lightening Faces ______ Charge. Its a kind of assault.
Headline Answers: 1) $10 2) Penis 3) Arms 4) Tree 5) Bridge 6) Hearing 7) Time 8) Stiff 9) Stud 10) Battery
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