Welcome to - This column is dedicated to all individuals (and their loved ones) who are now battling cancer, and to Survivors whose cancer is in remission. I’ll occasionally leave you with a joke. This will usually be related to cancer, or some other source of stress in our lives. If you’ve heard a joke along these lines that you love, and would like to see it made available to everyone in this column, please send it to me at HaHaRemedy@viconet.com. Humor Your Tumor November, 2000 Paul E. McGhee, PhD Finding Humor in Everyday Life (Part 4) A man left his parrot in its cage hanging from a nearby tree as he mowed the grass in a small cemetery. While he was mowing, an elderly woman walked over to one of the grave stones. As she kneeled there, holding flowers and lost in her own grief, she was startled to hear a nearby voice saying, "Hellooooo." She looked around, and say no one, but there it was again, "Hellooooo." She again glanced around--more frantically this time--and began to panic as she realized she was alone. When she spotted the parrot, she broke out in uncontrollable laughter. Part of what made this woman laugh uncontrollably was the fact that she was caught up in a combination of negative emotions--grief and anxiety. The laughter helped her let go of the built-up tension she was experiencing, and created a momentary positive emotional glow in the midst of an emotionally difficult circumstance. While humor and laughter should never be used to hide from grief or other negative emotions, it provides a cathartic cleansing process that helps us cope with the stress of the moment. We'll address the issue of using humor to cope when we discuss Step 7. Before trying to look for humor under emotionally-trying circumstances, it's important to first develop the habit of finding humor on the good days--when you're in an upbeat, positive mood. Here are some basic suggestions to help you develop this habit. Put Up "What's Funny About This?" Reminders If you're someone who generally fails to see the funny side of everyday situations, put up reminders to look for humor somewhere in your home (e.g., on the refrigerator), in your car and at your office. Sometimes it helps to imagine that you're Seinfeld or Steve Martin (choose the person who is your favorite comedian), and ask what they would find funny about the situation. Once you've spent a couple of weeks actively asking yourself "What's funny here?" you'll have the habit of noticing what's funny without having to ask yourself. I was doing a program at a hospital recently which had two separate divisions of the hospital in different parts of the city. A shuttle bus ran between the two hospitals all day long. The smaller division of the hospital was called the Madison Avenue Division. I couldn't help but laugh upon seeing painted in large letters on the side of the bus, "MAD Employees Shuttle." Ask Friends and Colleagues About the Humor They See Some of your friends or colleagues may already be very good at finding a light side of everyday events. Make it a point to ask them the funniest thing they've seen lately, or that's happened to them. Whatever they share with you will help you cultivate the habit of noticing funny things yourself. Write it Down Whenever you see anything that makes you laugh, write it down at the first opportunity. This will not only serve as a memory aid in sharing the incident with others (see next section); it will also strengthen the habit of noticing humor--even if you never share it with anyone. You don't have to write it down in detail, just write down enough information to capture the essential details. One of the most innovative uses of humor I've seen occurred at a junior high school basketball game. The game was tied with 3 seconds to go. One of the teams had the ball out of bounds under its own net. Just before the ball was thrown in, one of the players on the in-bounding team got down on his hands and knees and started barking like a dog. The other team was momentarily distracted, and his teammate took the pass right under the basket and made an easy shot to win the game. It was creative and hilariously funny. I wrote it down immediately. Share the Humor You Observe One of the most powerful things you can do to build up the habit of seeing the funny side of life is to share the funny things you do see with others. The more you share your humor, the more "seeing funny" becomes a part of your daily perspective on life. It also invites others to share their funny experiences with you--which cultivates the humor habit even more. Remember, though, that sometimes "you had to be there." Don't be too disappointed if the person you share the funny incident with only gives you a chuckle. You'll soon learn which funny experiences are just as funny when you tell them and which ones aren't. Remember: Your View of What's Funny is Just as Valid as the Next Person's Finally, keep in mind that you're the world's best expert on what's funny--to you. Your sense of humor is as unique as your thumb print. Don't worry about the fact that you fail to see any humor in incidents that have others rolling on the floor laughing. They also will sometimes fail to see what you find so funny. Next month, we'll move on to one of the more difficult humor skills to develop--laughing at yourself. [Adapted from P.E. McGhee Health, Healing and the Amuse System: Humor as Survival Training, Kendall-Hunt, 1999. To order call 800-228-0810.]
Click HERE for additional articles by Dr. McGhee on Humor and health/coping. |
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