Welcome to - This column is dedicated to all individuals (and their loved ones) who are now battling cancer, and to Survivors whose cancer is in remission. I’ll occasionally leave you with a joke. This will usually be related to cancer, or some other source of stress in our lives. If you’ve heard a joke along these lines that you love, and would like to see it made available to everyone in this column, please send it to me at HaHaRemedy@viconet.com. Humor Your Tumor January, 2001 Paul E. McGhee, PhD Step 6 (Part II): Learning to Laugh at Yourself A retired couple who feel that they're beginning to lose their memory are watching TV. A commercial comes on and the wife asks her husband if he'd like some ice cream. He says, "I'd love it, but you better write it down. You might forget." She says, "Oh I can certainly remember that." Ten minutes later, she comes back and gives him a plate of eggs. He stares at the plate and says, "You see, I told you you'd forget the toast!" If you're in your mid-50s or older, you've probably noticed that your memory is not as good as it used to be. This can be a source of constant embarrassment if you feel that you're just not remembering things that you know you should remember. Many senior citizens become so anxious that their reduced memory is a sign of oncoming Alzheimer's Disease that the anxiety itself begins to disrupt their memory. Memorizing a joke relating to this or other sensitive issues is a great way to begin taking control over this kind of anxiety--and a great way to begin laughing at yourself. Other starting points are listed below. How to Start Laughing at Yourself 1) Make a list of things you don't like about yourself. Sometimes just writing down your sensitive zones can reduce their power over you--especially if the list gets very long. But the real purpose of the list is to give you a basis for selecting specific target areas each day when you try to begin laughing at yourself. 2) Divide the list into "heavy" and "minor" items, and into things you can and cannot change. 3) Share one item on your list with someone every day. Begin with minor items and gradually build up to the heavier ones. Gaining some initial success at this will help you tackle the big ones later on. There is also real power in simply admitting (especially publicly) your sensitive zones. AA (and other self-help) groups have long recognized this, and begin their meetings with "My name is Paul McGhee, and I'm an alcoholic." Don't try to joke about your sensitive areas at first; just adopt the habit of admitting them. 4) Begin sharing your blunders, mistakes, and embarrassing incidents. You can work on this while sharing the things you don't like about yourself. Start with past embarrassments, since they're generally easier to discuss. Work up to more recent ones. Again, don't worry about finding humor in them. Just develop the habit of talking about them. 5) Begin Joking about your blunders and the things you don't like about yourself. After you've spent some time on the above suggestions, choose one of the items on your list and put it on the "front burner" throughout the day, looking for opportunities to poke fun at it. Ross Perot provided an excellent model for us all during the 1992 presidential race--when cartoonists were having a field day with his ears. The entire nation roared its approval during a presidential debate when he spontaneously came up with the line, "I'm all ears." If you find you're having trouble with this step, ask friends or colleagues to help you out in poking fun at yourself. You'll see that they're generally glad to oblige. 6) Remember that no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has flaws. Keeping this in mind will help you learn to poke fun at your own imperfections. A speaker tells his audience, "We've all heard the phrase, 'Nobody's perfect.' But I keep looking for that perfect person. Is there anyone here who's perfect? If so, just raise your hand." No one raises their hand at first, but then he notices a middle-aged man in the back waving his hand. "Great!" he says, "We've finally found the perfect person. Tell me sir, are you really perfect?" "No, no, no," says the man, "I'm raising my hand for my wife's first husband." [Adapted from P.E. McGhee Health, Healing and the Amuse System: Humor as Survival Training, Kendall-Hunt, 1999. To order call 800-228-0810.]
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